solo

if i could turn back time, maybe i could make you mine, how could i have been so blind?, maybe i could make you mine, if i could turn back time, maybe i could say hi, maybe i'd feel relieved, maybe that would give me closure, maybe that's too naive, or maybe i could walk by, wear my heart on my sleeve, and maybe we would lock eyes, and it'd be hard to believe, but maybe we would both laugh, and i could ask how she was, and wonder if she thinks about, the times we used to be us, and maybe i could ask why, or maybe i would say please, but maybe she's with a guy, and maybe i should just leave, or maybe i could stop time, cause the world to just freeze, make corners of this room dissolve, with every breath that i breathe, until it's just me and her, and we would fall from our feet, and flitter down into the pitch black, with no floor underneath, and we could fall through december, and maybe shatter through june, and we could crash land in april, and wake up back in our room, and she'd be there in my arms, right before she was gone, and while i lay there, i'd retrace to myself, where i went wrong, if i could turn back time, maybe i could make you mine, how could i have been so blind?, maybe i could make you mine, if i could hit rewind, maybe i could make you mine, maybe things would turn out fine, maybe i could make you mine, maybe she's just as bored, what if she's as depressed?, maybe i should drink more, maybe i should think less, how did things end so badly?, how did things even end?, i don't remember exactly, don't ask me, on our way back from atlanta, we were holed up in a taxi, she was asleep in the backseat, i was just drinking a smoothie, jamba juice, mango and flax seed, she woke up groggy and tapped me, headphones in, bumping to max b, looked at her, paused it on track three, she sighed and looked at me angry, i asked her, "what?", and she snapped back, "nothing, it's fine", i said, "no, what's on your mind?", she snapped back, "nothing, it's fine!", i said, "well fuck it! i'm trying!", she sniffled, "fuck you!" while crying, still have no fucking idea, the what, or the who, or the why, but we just stopped talking, and that was the end, no text or call or coffee, no "let's just be friends", we sat there silently through, north carolina and west virginia, and hours and hours passed, and the anxious quiet continued, 'til i fell asleep, and woke up to the driver alone, he told me he drove past her neighborhood, and dropped her off home, and that was it, and now we're here, two dozen feet from each other, it feels like years since i've seen her, two washed-up used-to-be-lovers, we used to kiss under covers, and wrestle in blankets, and nestle each other, but i don't think i've got the courage to muster, maybe i could say hi, maybe i'd feel relieved, maybe that would give me closure, maybe that's too naive, or maybe i could walk by, wear my heart on my sleeve, and maybe we would lock eyes, and it'd be hard to believe, but maybe we would both laugh, and i could ask how she was, and wonder if she thinks about, the times we used to be us, and maybe i could ask why, or maybe i would say please, but maybe she's with a guy, and maybe i should just leave, or maybe i could stop time, cause the world to just freeze, make corners of this room dissolve, with every breath that i breathe, until it's just me and her