first day of the end of my life

jumping off 14th avenue tonight, spill my regrets in the highway light, you might call me a coward, and they might call it a sin, but i'll never have to hear those words again, i took pills the doctors gave me for my brain, it's a chemical imbalance from what they know, but i never felt much different or the same, with the way i feel, i wouldn't even know, i said goodbye to both my mom and room, and i walked towards all the things i'll never do, i almost called my friends to see what all of them would say, but they never really answered anyway, maybe someone else can use my eyes or heart, i thought about taking pills to buy them time, but i couldn't take the chance that i'd survive, with a new regret in the hospital light, i had a thousand different answers, when the problem's what i need, in a city lay in ruins, where the carpenters sleep, and the architect was digging through the ash, to find the plans they'll never need, at least not for me, so dear family, don't cry, i took years to find a meaningful and peaceful place to die, so i'll be fine, sincerely, caroline