champagne

champagne in the kitchen not because i bought it but because, i'm crashing an apartment and somebody left it open, so i poured it in a cup, drank it up, i got the devil in my head but angels swimming in my blood, plus the conscience of my dead dad, plus my living mama plus my other father who raised me not to be sad, and my brother who says that he worries about me from my songs, and my sister who's been living like a saint for so damn long, while i've been fucking sinning til the lights come up and mics catch us saying shit that we never really meant, crew wears all black stuff but we all act like we're so different, but everybody bleeds right?, everybody's waiting for the phone to ring, yeah everybody seems fine, but everybody's got pieces missing, at minimum i'd like a little medicine to make me feel like everything, diminishing the venom that been harshing all my mellows i'm continuing to fight against the sentiment that make me want to die, in a world full of uptight gentlemen i wanna find a boy smelling like sweet cinnamon to quote some tennyson while we take benadryl to make my head a bit extra light, i feel it, i want it, i need it, i love it, i'm looking for something, to make me feel nothing, i feel it, i want it, i need it, i love it, i'm looking for something, to make me feel nothing, driving through the bay, pray for understanding, i'll be silent for a day, wait until i vanish and i'm fighting for a break, vacant kind of passion, never really can account for all the ways in which i've acted, tried to call my daddy but he's been gone a decade so i'm drinking like an addict til i'm fucking with a headache, happiness sporadic so i'm crying on a wednesday, not trying to be combative but i'm dealing with some dead weight, verbalize the hurt inside make me wanna burn alive, my heart was never broken it was circumcised