rod beck

so i woke up this mornin with this weird feeling, and it was kind of like i was not really myself anymore, so i ran to the mirror and it was still me, that same cynical, doubtful, unshaven, dirty look, unshaven, dirty. look, i don't know what's wrong with me, i've been trying to figure it out for some time now, talkin to people about it, it's kind of hard to explain, it's kind of like a lack of excitement about anything. hmmm. maybe i need to address these issues with someone who is a professional, maybe i need to say that i wish you would leave me alone this is personal, the other night i just think, i was pissed when you told me you thought i had lost control, maybe i need to address these issues with someone who is a professional, i don't know, maybe it's just a phase or something, i'm just going to get through or get over, maybe i'm just jaded for the time being, you know, just desensitized from growing up in a time when, i was barraged with action movies and video games, overblown media--hype, scandals and exposes, it's almost like my eyes are the lenses of a camera, and i'm watching everything happen around me, i've grown so accustomed to lookin at things from afar, in this weird kind of detached third person sort of way, that i find myself waitin for things to happen to me in my lie, and then all of a sudden i've come to this incredible understanding, that my life is happening as all this is occurring, as i'm waiting my life is happening, this is my life and it's a little bit upsetting