hell, i can do that

i was flippin' through the channels, a lazy sunday afternoon, caught the race in talladega, comin' 'round lap 22, when the fella in the blue car, gave a red car a little tap, then the rainbow colors, went flippin' down the track, in what that announcer called, a spectacular crash, and i thought, well, hell, i can do that, what's the big deal?, hit a wall in a ball of fire, requires no steel, a hundred thousand fans, screamin' in the stands, he gets a bag full of cash, drivin' circles and crash, hell, i can do that, while they were under caution, i switched it back to the football game, my team was losin', coach was hangin' his head in shame, then they gave 30 to the football, and he hit the hole fast, 'tween him and the goal line, was nothin' but the grass, and he tripped on his own two feet, fell flat on his back, and i said, oh, hell, i can do that, man, what's the big deal?, if i only wanted, a stumblin', fumblin' skills, a hundred thousand fans, screamin' in the stands, he gets a bag full of cash, and sit out the second half, hell, i can do that, well, i must have dozed off, i woke up with my baby next to me, remote in her hand, tears in her eyes from a movie, a romantic comedy, starring matthew mcconaughey, oh, hell, baby, i can do that, i don't see the big deal, kiss a girl, save the world, and the monster ain't even real, he just takes off his shirt, stuntman does the work, he gets a boat load of cash, for a quick shot of his ass, hell, i can do that, might need to wax my back, but, hell, i can do that