sorry

you're my best friend, no you're not, you're my sister, stay in your place, i can't pretend that you're not, threatening to me,l need my space, i'm not lying, i value survival, over you, i'm on my own, no i'm not, i've my sister to fight for me, i can't pretend that you won't, cause you love myself more than me, i'm not lying, so often you choose me, over you, and i've tried to heal the wounds, make it as if it never was, and i know i've done my best, but i can never heal the scars, i wanna say i'm sorry but i know i'll do it again, i'll do it again, i know what i did but i still don't know the reason, i wanna say i'm sorry but i know i'll do it again, i'll do it again, i'll do it to you, i don't wanna hurt you anymore, i pull you close, feel your love, then i push you away from me, protect myself, i'm not safe when my boundaries are violated, and it's kill or die, so i choose me, over you, add is my excuse, and with my excuse i shot you down, and i know i've got to change, but i can never work out how, how can i say i'm sorry when i know i'll do it again, do it again, i know what i did but i still don't know the reason, i wanna say i'm sorry but i know i'll do it again, i'll do it again, i'll do it to you, i don't wanna hurt you anymore, lash out in anger, hit the wrong target, my little sister, no matter what i say, i love you so much i cannot leave, but when family get too close, i always find it hard to breathe, how can i say i'm sorry when i know i'll do it again, i'll do it again, i know what i did but i still don't know the reason, how can i say i'm sorry when i know i'll do it again, i'll do it again, i'll do it to you, i don't wanna hurt you anymore