dreamer 2

lately i been up for days, barely even blinking, rolling blunts and pouring cups to keep myself from thinking, in the mist of all this pressure, i be sinking, niggas trynna fuck in the industry, they be winking, and i'm just a girl, 19, with dreams of being on the big screen, blue jeans, jordan's, kind of cute but still can spit mean, gas bill getting high, so fuck it, i'mma bring the heat, i'm trynna eat and it ain't sweet until i'm checking into suites, i doubled back and made it happen, started writing poetry and now i'm noticed off of this rapping, making music for niggas in chicago that be trapping, but still can switch it up, for all the poets that be snapping, they told me that i'm blowing up, i'm trynna get bigger, feel good to be played by radios, and not these niggas, a lot of people told i wouldn't make it, how you figure?, then i realized, they want what i got, or they just bitter, lame niggas, i never cared about my fate, because i know i got what it takes, so i'm in difference to the hate, i got to many hopes at stake, but, still i'm drowning, i found myself surrounded, by doctors and machines, my blood rushing, head pounding, they say women don't make it, unless they on they knees, so i got down, on my knees, started praying, god please, not religious, but i want it bad, so i be praying boy, niggas tryna play me like a game, but i ain't playing boy, mama barely cared for the crib, was never this hard when i was laying in the crib, as a baby, who would think i would make it this far, but i be damned if i made it here, and don't go another yard, shit is getting hard, i want it all, fuck a deal, if they ain't talking right, been running my city for so long that i ain't walking right, i'm from chicago, the city people die for, but, they ain't talking, they just shooting at they rivals, my grandma died in her sleep, next to a bible, i'm starting to feel like my life is just a recital, niggas faking, so i be writing until my fingers aching, i'd stop breathing before i even think that i ain't gone make it, and everybody out here thinking everybody sleeping on em, i set alarms, and it's creeping on em, i had a fucked up life, i'm breaking down, so whenever i get me a swisher, i'm breaking down, and whenever i get me a bottle, i'm pouring up, thoughts racing and i'm stuck, soon enough, i'm slowing up, then i get to throwing up, all the pain i was feeling, all the tears i was shedding when the obstacles was given, all the niggas on my side, that told me they would ride but they lied, now i'm in the building and they outside, so, in the future when they see me in that beamer, just know i wasn't shit, i turned myself into a dreamer, part 2