s.a.d

painting over portraits again, i pretend, this isn't how i knew it would end. cause there are no more pages in my book, and there is too much ink in my pen, so now i'm wishing that the cycle would end, so then, i'd learn to be somebody's man, cause there is too much history for the history books, and i'd like to start them again, i hate me, so unoriginal, no other feeling could feel so traditional, cause every year i end up here, i end up here, so now you hate me?, oh, how original, well i'm used to it, lone, individual, another year and i'm still here, and i'm still here, looking in the mirror, i'm sure i'm sure, and i didn't do those things from before, cause there is no more time left on the clock, and you are walking out the front door, so now i'm learning to be wrong even more, the whore, the emptiness i try to ignore, cause there are no more bullets in my gun, and i am trying to prepare for a war, i hate me, so unoriginal, no other feeling could feel so traditional, cause every year i end up here, i end up here, so now you hate me?, oh, how original, well i'm used to it, lone, individual, another year and i'm still here, and i'm still here, and you say, "i'll take it out on myself, i'll take it out on my friends.", and you say, "i've got this knife to my throat, and there's this blood on my hands.", is it selfish?, well if so fine, i've always been selfish, and that's just one of the many problems i will never be able to fix, i believe i am making everyone's lives around me worse, increasingly worse, i am a disease to my friends and family, please leave me alone, we're still young, it's over, i'm so dumb, i love her, i'm sorry, i hate me, it was fine, til lately, i hate me, so unoriginal, no other feeling could feel so traditional, cause every year i end up here, i end up here, so now you hate me?, oh, how original, another year and i'm still here