well being

feel it creep under my skin, fingers start to twitch, the lonely pang of restlessness, when there's no one else around, do i even make a sound?, or am i just an echo, fading from their consciousness?, without the amniotic comfort, of being wrapped in someone else, my mind is left to wander, lowered further down the well, when meditation, becomes suffocation, where to go?, throw myself into you, and i'm ashamed to admit it, but it's how i've come to be, my past keeps biting at my feet, i've refrained to ever bare it, it's not fair of me, to burden my own company, oh christ, it's so goddamn pathetic, how i only know myself, in the context of someone else, so tell everyone to exit, view me in a vacuum, self-pity on a feedback loop, when meditation, becomes suffocation, where to go?, throw myself further down the well, where nobody can hear me yell, no soul to console, just myself, until the echo begins to swell, and rings pell mell, no, i can't bare to look, into what i fear most, a face emerging, churning doubt, who will pull me out?