up in smoke

stare at the wall 'till my eyes fall out my head, "get out of bed" she said, so self destructive, up in smoke, all came to nothing, being broke and lonely doesn't make much sense, i wish you'd see my point of view, you're so uptight, loosen your screws, try to find the words that you expect me to say, i know i let you down again, i get it, i see that look in your eye, i just hoped you could see, swear to god that i tried, i just thought that for once i could do something right, but i can't, and i'm sorry, heard you call, did you want me?, i had it all but inside i was drowning, now i can feel the pressure weighing down on me, i can't live up to all your standards, can we learn to disagree?, building back the trust you lost in me again, you're so upset and stressed, so disappointed, dig up the past, leave me with haunting situations i thought we agreed to let stay dead, i know i fuck up every time, i fall apart, you fall in line, i bit my tongue and my mouth filled up with blood, i tried my hardest but still it wasn't enough, a desperate longing from trust, i get so close but i crush it again, my integrity's spent, i just hope that you know i'll be there 'till the end, when you're gone, i'll be broken, let it out, cut me open, bury my head in my hands, how will i ever redeem myself?, pressure weighing down on me, i can't live up to all your standards, can we learn to disagree?, pressure weighing down on me, when i can't give you all the answers you expect the worst of me, stare at the wall 'til my eyes fall out my head, "get out of bed" she said, so self destructive, up in smoke, all came to nothing