face first

i failed myself, again today, liar, liar, it's always been that way, i fell face first, while i was over thinking, cloud my mind again, block it all away, insecure and undeserving, of all the love, you were reserving, negative and assuming, i'm numbing myself, just to keep quiet, i couldn't commit, when it knew all along, it would end up like this, i won't pretend, that i don't want all my secrets back, my own reflection, won't look me in the eyes, cause it knows, who i could've been, but you killed him, you killed him, i tried to change for you, faked a smile and attitude, i never wanted it to be like this, i never wanted to feel a fucking thing, i lost the key, to purposely, keep everything locked away inside of me, still question myself, still hating myself, still everything i deserve, another blow to the head, slapped in the face, by the things that you said, this curse burns infinite, bound by the chains, anchored in my head, and so it begins, every single good thing will come to an end, nothing ever lasts when every light in my path is burned out by my past