sunshine

standing on out on the, edge of the building, watching the traffic below, drinking a beer and thinking of jumping, not far from ready to go, below me the crowd, slowing gathers around, cops cars with news cameras too, i just can't get out of this pain i'm in, and i don't know what else to do, sometimes i feel like, i'm so uninvited, like something so out of touch, they tell me depression, runs in the family, well, that doesn't help me much, the crowds yelling "jump", over a cop on a bullhorn, making them harder to hear, he's saying something about, having so much to live for, i'm almost threw with my beer, squinting my eyes to, see through the sunlight, the crows even bigger now, there's no point in wondering, what afterlife's like, it don't matter anyhow, we're already in hell, as far as i can tell, just listen to these people scream, this feels like a rally, in a high school field house, i feel like the captain of the team, well, here goes the captain of the team. follow the light to the garden of eden, you stand at the pearly gates, saint peter comes over, his hand on my shoulder, he's telling me i got away, he says, "you know you can't kill yourself, and still get in here kid. but you look like, a victim of circumstance, so i'm just gonna break every bone in your, body and give you another chance", waking up slowly, looking around me, alone in a recovery room, but closing my eyes, i can see the new sunrise, over acres of flowers in bloom, i don't know when it will be, but the next time you see me, i'll be tapping to a whole new beat, walking souls in to the holes of my shoes, down the sunny side of the street, sunshine.