fade

the emptiness i harboured in the questions that i asked, was almost palpable. it tasted like the soft skin on your back, and when i said, "where did you go?" what i meant was, "since you left, i haven't had the chance to hate you nearly half as much as i've hated myself", we were in love, at least that's what i came to call it, i was never really quite sure if it was, because in growing up, the hardest lesson learned, is just because you love someone, it doesn't mean they love you in return, i always thought you'd fade when i buried you and me, but on our grave a bed of flowers bloomed, and now each day you grow more beautiful as i'm left to decay, i guess it's true that some things never change, it's been quite a long time now but i'm still so weak, i found a bliss in my ignorance until ignorance found hell in me, when i said, "where did you go?" what i meant was, "since you left, i haven't had the chance to hate you half as much as i loved you then", it's been a long time now, but i still spend my nights laying awake, the kind of tired that sleep wouldn't shake, the kind of empty that fills the entire space in my chest cavity, where i tried to keep you safe; but you escaped, it's been quite a long time now but i'm still so weak, i found a bliss in my ignorance until ignorance found hell in me, when i said, "where did you go?" what i meant was "since you left, i haven't had the chance to hate you half as much as i loved you then"