darkness

i'm scared of swimming in the sea, dark shapes moving under me, every fear i swallow makes me small, inconsequential things occur, alarms are triggered, memories stir, it's not the way it has to be, i'm afraid of what i do not know, i hate being undermined, i'm afraid i can be devil man, and i'm scared to be divine, don't mess with me my fuse is short, beneath this skin these fragments caught, when i allow it to be, there's no control over me, i have my fears, but they do not have me, walking through the undergrowth, to the house in the woods, the deeper i go, the darker it gets, i peer through the window, knock at the door, and the monster i was, so afraid of, lies curled up on the floor, is curled up on the floor just like a baby boy, i cry until i laugh, i'm afraid of being mothered, with my balls shut in the pen, i'm afraid of loving women, and i'm scared of loving men, flashbacks coming in every night, don't tell me everything's alright, when i allow it to be, it has no control over me, i own my fear, so it doesn't own me, walking through the undergrowth, to the house in the woods, the deeper i go, the darker it gets, i peer through the window, knock at the door, and the monster i was, so afraid of, lies curled up on the floor, is curled up on the floor just like a baby boy, i cry until i laugh