spread thin

i'll stay awake, spread thin, while the worms remind me, "no failure in my house", where does it come from?, when did i get so obsessed?, overextending myself again, i guess i'm a neurotic mess, check my vitals, check my pulse, i've got worms crawling through my skull, and no matter how much i may try to let go, it's my failures that bleed through the most, running out of time again, i'll stay awake, just keeping busy 'til my heart stops, spread thin, just spinning my wheels 'til they fall off, nobody cares what you've got on your plate, when all that will matter is how much you ate, so i keep persistently stuffing my face, but i'm missing the point, and it all goes to waste, compensating for all that i lack, for all of those years i will never get back, i'm trying, but it just feels like lying, hollow ambition, empty vision, empty life, distractions just to keep myself occupied, at least i've got my pride, right?, falling out of reach again, i'll stay awake, just keeping busy 'til my heart stops, spread thin, just spinning my wheels 'til they fall off, what if all i am, and all i'll ever be, is just a coward, with hand-me-down philosophy, all these years of playing scholar, i haven't learned a goddamn thing, are these shadows getting taller?, or am i just imagining?, another year has come to pass, i expected so much more, the holidays went by too fast, so i nailed my feet to the floor