stitches parody

, i am pretty and 17, i have no clue what heartbreak even means, but i made this song about it, after my girl dumped me, that cold hearted witch, what was that?, it felt like i just got punched, your ex-girlfriend sent me to kick your butt!, she said make sure he needs to get stitched up, that hurts!, she took this song too literally, i meant stitches metaphorically, wasn't it enough that she left me?, now she wants me to bleed, who is that hitting me?, here's a clue, i say "you can't see me!", i wrestle men in big arenas, um, are your john cena?, yep!, what did i do to deserve this?, on her birthday you got her nothing you dick!, instead you got yourself this car!, i needed to look more badass, and that's why i'm kicking your ass!, someone save me from this wrestler dude!, now you'll learn the power of the dark side, don't tell me my ex also sent you, that's right, remember, on this past christmas day, you got her nothing, now you must pay, instead you got that dumb jacket!, hey i look badass in it, how dare you be so selfish, ouch! stop that!, she was being a bitch!, you see the power of the force now, who's poking my ass? ow!, 'twas me harry potter, your ex girlfriend is my witch daughter, i'm gonna, take my broom from quidditch, and beat your butt with it!, valentine day's coming, got to turn this pain to loving, this brutal violence is senseless, i must save shawn mendes