autoaggression

i'd rather destroy myself than be destroyed by you, autoaggression - better than being destroyed by you, i cannot cope with things oppressing me, but i can punish the people who love me, banging my head against the wall, take away any chance to live my life the way i want, not my fault, not your fault anyway, i don't want to live, i don't want to die, pain i feel - pain you feel - feel it now, i always used to hide my emotions, because i think no one really wants to know, the things that i can feel inside, inside of me where nobody knows, what is going to be, hurting me feels good to me, and lets my hidden self go, to be free