this is me

last week i had a thought i'm twenty years, that's old enough to start imagining and plenty fears, or will i go cause i don't fit in here with any peers, know there's more to life than smoking weed and drinkin' beers and partyin', but what else to do when needin' a lord of fame, wish i could tell jay-z i see myself in you, i started with a dream and now i'm tryin' to be wealthy, too, but it's tough when you're balancin' it all and walking down a tight rope, you balance 'bout to fall, the label's keep tellin' me i'm talented and all, but i need another candy girl to really have it all, i'm hungrier than ever for a check, my situations not at all what you'd expect, i work my ass off, i'm always stickin' out my neck, cause they say the real currency ain't but respect, but if you have one without the other, that means you're a stupid motherfucker, i hate bein' broke, but havin' all the fame, and not havin a deal, and have to be the blame, i wanna win bread and bring it home so after all we can live right, and give half to my mom, just to get right, and just to prove to her she wasn't psycho, for always supportin' this dream, she was right though, but it's tough when life's as stormy as the weather, and her health ain't gettin' any better, and everyday's a struggle, the most recent trouble was her job, caught me cryin' she told me she was laid off, god, but she told me, keep my spirits up high, she workin' i'll just keep on pushin' aimin' for the sky, and people wonder why i spend everyday high, cause my life isn't how it's suppose to be, but i try, keep feelin' that i'm livin' life wrong, but then i stop trippin' as soon as i hit the bong, i go out out to the club, pretend my problems all gone, i see chicks at my shows, know all the words to my songs, my new girl told me "g please promise me if we gon' be together, you gon' have to give me honesty", and honestly i'm tryin' baby listen, but it's bitches everyday say your spot where they wanna be, i'm tryna do the best that i can for you, i feel that you deserve that and i care for you, cause a groupie might love you when you big, soon as the fame goes, they ain't there for you real, a rapper's girlfriend, best spot for a wife, and this is just to give a snap-shot of my life, for all you haters gossipin' and speakin' all freely cause you listen to my cd, because i'm in the lime light, you can go and start a bunch of fuckin' rumors, shit is rippin' me apart, and one hit, i don't give a shit, the other one i'm sick of it, this is just to tell you what the business is, this is it, this is it, yea i'm sick of it, see my biggest problem is, that i give a shit, if i ain't care i swear i'd probably be fine with it but it's that, this shit is killin' my mind, damn, and that's real, this is me.