modern love

hey, i'm feeling so dirty, you're looking so clean, all you can give is a spin in your washing machine, i fly off to rome to my prima bella, she leaves me in the rain with telescopic umbrella, ooh the pain - modern love can be a strain, i trusted my venus was untouched in her shell, but the pearls in her oyster were tacky as hell, for lady godiva i came incognito, but her driver had stolen her red hot magneto, ooh the pain - modern love can be a strain, i don't know why they leave me in the lurch, to carry on the search, it's driving me up the wall, pity when i have so much passion, romance is out of fashion, can't handle modern love at all, so i worship diana by the light of the moon, when i pull out my pipe she screams out of tune, in paris my heart sinks when i see the mona lisa, she gives me the wink, then she shows me the freezer, ooh the pain - modern love can be a strain