jitters

, on the nightstand a half micky, crown royal, and like fifty fuckin roaches wrapped in tin foil, empty nyquil, tylenol, 5 pills, cigarettes and some honey oil, half an ounce in the hash pipe, and no idea what the fuck i did last night, but i don't care cause i am no longer empathetic, to who i hurt including me myself and i forget it, i'm on a path towards destruction and i'm almost there, you coulda saved me last year when i almost cared, but fuck it, i'm gone, the wall around my heart's strong, ticker box, fort knox, i'm on lock, i'm sorry mamma, your only son's a disappointment, i sold myself for gold watches, in the kitchen, joing in, laughin in the devils face, spittin at lucifer, crucifixing my demons, i'm shootin higher than jupiter "wow", keep on living, god's forgiving, no more sorrow, today is tomorrow, they don't understand my name, they all think that i'm insane, they all know i had it all but then i flushed it down the drain, things are moving way too slow, i have got too far to go, stick a gun inside my mouth and blow my brains to particles, used to have a heart of gold, flow it is still arctic cold, but now my plaques are rusty and i'm reading dusty articles, thoughts that rip my skull apart, i am selling sullen art, smart but hollow, hard to swallow, everything is dull and dark, listen you can understand my actions are irrational, sudden screams of shattered dreams of being international, problems with my past, i got problems with my cash flow, by now i should be humble, but i'm still a fucking asshole, its mister mister mystifying, kicking rhymes, while fists are flying, gifted like its christmas time, i'm an artist with a business mind, harder than a prisoner's mind, death defying visitors bloody wrists are drying, keep on living, lives forgiving, no more sorrow, today is tomorrow