wax apologetic

i can't take back a single thing that i have ever done, so who is it for, when i tell you time and time again, how sorry that i really am?, i mean it, but is that ever worth a damn?, i need it, to selfishly relieve my shame, it's no use repeating, such words are self-defeating, it was never about you anyway, trying to find comfort, for lack of a better word, you always said, it's better to beg for forgiveness, than ask for permission, but that's meaningless, if i can't get past all the guilt, and the shame, i can't accept the helplessness of poor luck, because i don't believe in giving up, there's always more i could have done, in rejecting the concept of fate, i welcome the burden of blame, but it's not the same, it's no use repeating, such words are self-defeating, it was never about you anyway, trying to find comfort, for lack of a better word, it's no use repeating, such words are self-defeating, it was never about you anyway, i'm just coping in my own way, never know what else to say, every single day, you hear that word out of my mouth, and it sickens me to say, but i can't help but let it out, it's a weakness, it's an impulse, and i know i've worn it out, i wish i could be stronger person, or at least a better judge, of what is out of my control, so at least then i know, it's not my fault, i'll learn to forgive myself, some things are just out of our hands, it's no use repeating, such words are self-defeating, it was never about you anyway, i'm just coping in my own way, there is nothing more that i can say, i'm sorry, for what it's worth