holding my breath

before you judge me take a good hard look at yourself, you don't know me but you're draining me of mental health, a lie based on popular opinion, i want to die 'cos' i can't be forgiven, locked in a room, void of humanity, i'm in a black hole, suffering endlessly, opening my eyes is worse than death, that's why i keep on holding my breath, the world is caving in all around me, i see myself as a vulgar monstrosity, my mind collapsed into a technical mess, i can't deal with the guilt that i have to ingest, locked in a room, void of humanity, i'm in a black hole, suffering endlessly, opening my eyes is worse than death, that's why i keep on holding my breath, opening my eyes worse than death. why i keep on holding my breath, worse than death. holding my breath, worse than death. holding my breath, opening my eyes worse than death. why i keep on holding my breath