sleep

if i'd had known, that from the minute i was born, that the price of my existence would be the weight of expectation, then i wouldn't fucking be here. how can i focus on the life i'm "supposed to lead", when everyday i struggle with existing?, i've dug a hole so deep in my mind, that i can no longer see the light of the sun;, i can no longer hear the voices of people i love. i've been breaking my hands, trying to carry the burden, that i've placed on myself. i'm so afraid of the end, i've lead myself to believe, i may never be happy again. i think the hardest part of all is trying to justify self-deprecation, when i am constantly surrounded by sources of love and affection. i know that i'm not on my own, but i can't shake the feeling, that i'm in this alone. there's no one that i feel safe with. all i've wanted for so long, is to succumb to a sleep, that i am not afraid of. give me the strength to love myself, as i am told that i am loved. may i believe, despite my doubt, that someday i'll be good enough. give me the strength to love myself, as i am told that i am loved. may i believe, despite my doubt, that someday i'll be good enough. hindsight is a miserable thing, when you don't know where you're going, and you don't care where you've been. hindsight is a miserable thing, when you don't know where you're going, and you don't care where you've been.