psycho

tuesday, twenty third of january, 2018, i'm here with david, this is our first session, we're just gonna talk about your background, where you're from, any issues you've been dealing with, so, where should we start?, look, stop all the pain, how do you stop all the pain, huh?, i used to hear a voice when i was praying, but nowadays i don't even wanna be saved, nah, fuck that, i don't wanna be saved, i was born to be wild, i don't wanna be tame, penance in my blood and i don't wanna be vain, but if i'm a psycho then i don't wanna be sane, i used to dream of this shit when i was hoppin' on train, so, so bad i used to want all the fame, my ex-girl wanna shoot a cover for vogue, which is pretty ironic 'cause she's top of the range, if anyone of you take a shot on the track, my n****s come back and put a shot on your frame, easy as the alphabet, 3 g's in the ring, call me alvarez, my teacher used to say i need counseling, couldn't stop asking me, "what do you feel?", there's so many old scars that they wanna reveal, we got off on the wrong foot 'cause i don't want them to heal, nah, but if you're looking for a psycho, you got one, i thought i had a screw loose but i lost one, 99 problems, money it is not one, my currency's kenyan, that's in it for the long run, tears on the pillow, bruh, i shed so many tears on the pillow, i used to tell my teachers but nobody gets it, i don't know clark but i know that i'm a kiddo, 'cause my mummy ain't been home, miss thinks i'm involved, blame my environment, it made me a sicko, furthermore, i should bring that bitch down to streatham, and then make her spend a day in the vale like a widow, kiddo, we see swords longer than a limo, my bros have black smiths like jayden and willow, man, there's weapons over here, we're reppin' over here, i'm from the south side but it's streatham over here, no tellin' if you're sellin', hold the wettin' over here, get him over here, who the fuck is checkin' over here?, most my n****s are the ones applying pressure over here, fuck a soul, i can get a n***a peppered over here, what? we wanted more, there's a feud on the strip, while movin' a brick, my n****s went to school with the rich and we were broke, hiding crow in a rubicon drink, which is funny 'cause that's how we put food in the fridge, it weren't mine, someone tryna live his best life, i just wanna take a pretty woman for a test drive, if i bring her to my room and i press, i guarantee she gonna see the force like a ex-wife, people tell me i'm a little bit barmy, for my army i need a bottle of bacardi, if it's me and a pouch with my doggy, shawty, you're seein' two stars in the party, fuck all your heard, i'm top boy and i ain't givin' man a turn, i don't wanna know when pretty women wanna flirt, learn, you can judge a n***a by the women that he curves, i love this game, i ain't lost focus, i'm a hit maker if you haven't noticed, i could be the rapper with a message like you're hoping, but what's the point in me being the best if no one knows it?, brother i'm a careful, humble, reckless, arrogant, extravagant, n***a probably battlin' with manic depression, man, i think i'm going mad again, it's like i'm happy for a second, then i'm sad again, and to my fans, the reason i could get to this, you're my drug, the instrumental, my therapist, man, i need some therapy, my girl sayin' that she'll never leave, i'm scared she's gonna find a better me, deep insecurities, like, what if i don't leave a legacy, money why they check for me, mummy lost respect for me, i wish that we could be together but that ain't how life works, i used to cry about my dad until my fuckin' eyes burned, nose runnin', you don't know nothin', before i put a penny on the table, i provided for my family, held my mother's hand through the agony, hey, you ever fall asleep 'cause you don't wanna be awake, in a way you're tired of the reality you face?, if you're thinkin' 'bout doin' it, suicide doesn't stop the pain, you only move it, lives that you're ruinin', thoughts of a world without you in it, hiding, i ain't psycho, but my life is